|> More short jokes for mobile phones|
|Silly quotes sms messages||Rude text messages|
|Chat up sms messages||Text message jokes|
|Wisdom sms messages||Fun sms jokes|
My eyes R hurting coz I can’t C U, My arms R empty coz I can’t hold U, My lips R cold coz I can’t kiss U but, My heart is breaking coz I’m not with U!
i heard someone whisper ur name, but when i turned around to c who it was, i notice i was alone, then i realize it was my heart telling me that i miss u.
4getn u is hard 2 do, 4gtn me is up2 u, 4gt me not, 4gt me neva, but don’t 4get, we’re gr8 2gether
among ur frens i care 4 u da most, among ur frens i lov u da most, among ur frens u hurt me d most coz….i know dats all im 2 u… among ur frens
Luv will fly if held too lightly.Love will die if held too tightly.How should I hold u.How do I know if I’m still keeping you or I’m letting go…
You can alway tell when a man is going to say something intelligent. He starts a sentance with “A women once told me…”
Did you hear about the new mag for married men by Playboy? It has the same pictures month after month after month.
2 Men are fishing. A funneral march goes by. The first man places his hat on his cheast. 2nd man – “Thats nice” 1st man – “It’s the least I could do, we were married 25 years”!
Why did the farmer win a noble prize?
Because he was standing out in his field.
What do you call James Bond in the bath?
Why did the jelly baby go to school? Because it wanted to be a Smartie!
Don’t Anthropomorphize computers – They hate it.
Do you take me to be your lawful text m8, 2 have and 2 hold dirty jokes and saurcy jokes, in text messaging and in poosignal till low battery do us part?
Send to: Bill Gates: Reply to sender with Bank Account PIN Code.
Whats a Zebra?
26 sizes bigger then A Bra!
What did Mrs Christmas say to Mr Christmas during the Thinder Storm? Look at the Rain Deer!
What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesnt matter what you call him he aint gunna come!
For Sale – Complete set of Britanica, 74 Volumes, good condition, £1000 ONO, No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything!
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but i couldn’t find any!
If ignorance is bliss WHY are there so many unhappy people?
If love is blnid then why is lingerie so popular?
Why did the cannibal rush over to the cafe? He heard childeren were half price!
Mary had a little lamb she tied it to a pylon 10,000 volts went up its bum turned its wool to nylon!
If a big fat man comes late night into your room and wants to pack you in his bag, do not worry, I told Santa that i wont you for Christmas!
What do you call a Dinosaur with a large haemorrhoids? A Megasorarse!
For Sale: 1 Gran Reconditioned heart, body needs great attention nearest offer or will swap for pokemon cards.
Why don’t lobsters share? Because they are Shellfish!
Why do Teletubbies go to the loo togather? Because they only have one Tinky Winky.
Twinkle Twinkle little know how she likes iit in her gob when she feels that certain twitch. she pulls it out the spiteful bitch.
Yo mama’s arms are so short, she has to tilt her head to scratch her ear.
I’m an alien, I’ve transfored your phone and as you are reading this i’m having sex with your finger, I know your liking it because your smiling now!
Mary had a little lamb and the doctor fainted.
I’m pink, therefore I’m spam.
How do you keep a idiot in suspence?
I’ll tell you tomorrow!
I wish I was a glow worm, A glow worm’s never glum How can you be unhappy when the sun shines out your bum?
Roses are red, violits are blue, a face like yours belongs in the zoo.
Why did the Manager hand out lighters to all his team? They kept on losing thier matches!
Two canibals were eating a clown, one said “Does this taste funny to you?”
Send this message to all of your friends. Every time you forward this message a little boy in Africa will get spanked and beated!
Do you believe in LOVE at first sight or do I have to walk by again?
Sex is like NOKIA (connecting people) like NIKE (just do it) like PEPSI (ask for more) like SAMSUNG (everyone is invited) and like ME (TO GOOD TO BE TRUE)…
A peach is a peach, A plum is a plum, A kiss ain’t a kiss, without some tongue. So open up your mouth, and close your eyes, and give your tongue Some exercise!
I am a killer, I kill people for money. But because you are my friend, I’ll kill you for nothing!
Birdie birdie in the sky dropped a poopy in my eye, I don’t worry I don’t cry, I’m just happy that cows can’t fly!
Don’t be sad… don’t feel blue… Frankenstein was ugly too…
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and suddenly I realized that I was talking to myself
Hi I’m an alien I’m checking for some chicks in your phonebook searching….. searching….. searching….. sorry no chicks found. conclusion, your are gay!
Handsome, Sweet, Intelligent, spontaneous, good-looking, nice friends, charming, funny, well…Enough about ME! How about you?
Somewhere, some1 dreams of your smile & finds your presence in life so worthwhile. So when your lonely, remember its true that some1, somewhere, is thinking of u.
Hello to the owner of the cell-phone with no.+44……..Your sim-card is been cracked open by Hacker’s, and will destroy your phone within 24 hours from NOW!
Death is the greatest kick of all. That’s why they save it for last!
No Boys! No Boys, no Sex. No Sex, no Kids. No Kids, no School. No School, no problems! Why Boys??
Yes, God made you first, but there’s always a rough draft before the final copy.
This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat, keep cat, an cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat,20 cat, seconds cat!…Now read it without the word cat.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Frankenstein is ugly but what the hell happened to you????
Roses are red Violets are blue Love stinks and so do you !
B If I could rearrange the alphabet, Id put U and I together.
Press down down more Ok more YES ahh ohh yes almost there yeah oh shit harder SO GOOD ! hmm That’s how I sex on text !
The NHS regrets to inform you that your birth was an accident. Please report to your nearest hospital to be put down. We apologise for any inconvenience.
At this moment 5 million are having sex 2 million are in gun fights 91m at a party and one sad f**ker is reading his SMS.
There is Hot-sex, Fast-sex, Group-sex, Safe-sex, Leather-sex, Telephone-sex, and for people with your face…NO SEX!
There are 4 animal species a woman needs in her life: Jaguar in her garage, mink in her closet, tiger in her bed! And of course a donkey to pay her bills!
Love is a sensation dat is caused by temptation, a boy puts his location in a girls destination, do u get my explanation or do u wanna demonstration?
Do you like maths, if so add a bed, subtract ur clothes, divide your legs and we can multiply!
Sex is real evil, sex is a sin, moaning and groaning as he slides slowly in, It cant last 4eva,I no it’s a shame, dat 1 night of passion leads to 9months of pain!
I like your style, I like your class, but most of all i like your arse!
Cat & Rooster walking near d pool, Cat falls in the pool, Rooster starts laughing, Moral of d story?…When ever there’s a happy c**k there’s a wet p**sy!
Be nice to the ones who smoke.. every cigarette might be their last.
BEEB! Send this message to 5 of your friends and you will have unbelieveble sex tonight! If you break this chain, you’ll never have multiple orgasm again!
Birdy birdy in the sky, left a poopie in my eye. Me don’t care, me don’t cry, me just happy that a cow can’t fly!!
Braindetector activated, calibrating, now searching………still searching……get a good grip of your mobile….still searching…….no brains found.
Did I not see you yesterday at the mall, with a grey jacket? No? O, than it was a rubbish bag after all!