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Fun text message quotes

> More short jokes for mobile phones
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Text message jokes Text message jokes

I’m not as dumb as you look.

Elvis is dead and I don’t feel so good myself.

How do frogs die? They Kermit suicide.

Idiot (id-ee-it) n.- One who disagrees with you.

Reality is for people who can’t face science fiction.

Umm…your …. ZIP is open…

Wanna get stoned? Drink wet cement!

Nok nok. Who’s there? ….. Marie …… Marie who? …… Marie who wanna…!!

It is better to have one bullet in the hand than ten in the back.

I intended to become rich while sleeping, but I could not fall asleep yet.

My thoughts wondering off, I am always everywhere.

You need 60 muscles to be angry and 20 to smile why would you make things difficult?

Boys say it’s great, boys say it’s fine. 9 months later they say it’s not mine !

When my father broke in to my mother I had to sit there for months!

A bra is a thing that keeps up what would hang down otherwise …

Life is beautiful if you are willing to see it

Secrets, they only last long enough to break you down

It’s the heart afraid of Breaking … that never learns to dance.

t’s the dream afraid of waking, that never takes the change.

It’s the soul afraid of dying … That never learns to live.

It’s the one who won’t be taken, who cannot seem to give.

The IDEAL man does not smoke, does not drink, does not flirt, goes to bed early, in short … does not exist.

That is how a triathlon has been invented : go swimming on foot and coming home by bike.

No boys no love, no love no sex, no sex no people, no people no school, no school no problems.

The word HELLO means: H=How are you? E=Everything alright? L=Like 2 hear from you! L=Love 2 see you soon O=Obviously I miss you. SO, HELLO

We do have to go to school … Have to is force … Forcing is slavery …. Slavery is forbidden … SO … we do not have to go to school!

Be quiet in the classroom, respect the fact that others sleep!

Keep the school clean … stay home!

Like a rose withers, so is our relationship withering …

My mother-in-law walks 5 miles every day… I wonder where she’d be by now.

3 monkeys escaped from the zoo … one was caught watching tv … another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message

I started out with nothing… and I still have most of it!

As long as they pretend to pay me, I pretend I am working.

Mistakes have been made, others will be punished.

10.000 new jobs … all tax inspectors?!

I said no to drugs, but they did not listen!

The fact that there are ‘intelligent’ extraterrestrial creatures is proven by the fact that they did not contact us yet.

Being nuts or crazy is inheritable, you get it from your children.

I am still single, my parents-in-law were not able to have children.

Lots of people stop working once they found a job!

All of you who believe in psychokinetic, raise ‘my’ hand …

Join the army, meet interesting people and then … kill them…

I want to live in Switzerland where the mountains are higher than the taxes.

Reality is an illusion that is born out of shortage of alcohol.

Stress is when you wake up and realises that you haven’t slept yet.

A little clown is living in my heart. Small and very special. It can dance and jump, laugh and sing. Are you in pain and you need to cry, come and borrow it!

Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver the other gold.

Wherever you go, whatever you do, may god’s angels watch over you.

Before you want to start making a work of art, first make a draft, that is what also God did by creating first the man and then the woman

You can eat and drink together, talk and laugh together, enjoy life together, but you are only real friends when you also cried together.

Friend: someone who tells you things while you are alive, things that others tell after you die.

A friend is someone who knows the song of your heart and who can sing it for you when you have forgotten it.

When it is raining setbacks, use your smile as an umbrella!

All nice things in life are illegal, immoral, or make you grow fat.

Mirrors should be able to think before reflecting the images.

If my head looks like yours, I’d shave my rear end and walked on my hands.

A ring is round and has no end, so is my love for you ma friend.

A friend is someone who knows when you need her…

I am on holiday … when I think of holidays I think of the beach, when I think of the beach I think of the sea, when I think of the sea, I think of jellyfish… when I think of jellyfish, I think of YOU!!!!!!!!

who digs a hole for some else is surely no selfish person !

When you are lazy, you cannot help it. When you are tired, that is your own fault.

My “aim” in life is: die young when I am very old.

When friendship is deeply rooted, it is a plant that cannot even be uprooted by a storm….

I must have been born under a lucky star , to find a friend as nice as you are. I will follow the rainbow to the end , if you promise to remain my friend !!!

Life is not easy and it will never be, but you’ve got friends and one of them is me …

Friends are like stars… you don’t see them all the time, but you know they’re there!

I asked God 4 a flower, he gave me a garden. Asked 4 a tree, he gave me a forest. Asked 4 a river, he gave me an ocean. Asked 4 a friend, he gave me you.

There is a big difference between friendship and a rose… Roses last only a while … but friendship is for ever.

No gold or precious stones … give us happiness and peace, friendship and its warmth … will bring it to us.

Friendship is a wonderful word, it might be te most beautiful one on earth. Friendship is something powerful, a gift of great value!

A friend is always welcome … Early in the morning or late at night. Time is of no importance … When it concerns real friendship!!

You cannot buy friendship, you can earn it. If someone comes for help, be a true friend !

Make your life a house your heart can live in. With a door that is open to receive friends. And a garden full of memories … of many good things.

Those who think that things happen too fast are expected in a bank or a post office!

A good movie can make you cry… so can onions.

Speaking Italian is hard, but I eat and drink it without difficulties!

Nostalgia is not what it used to be.

I never forget a face, but for you I will make an exception.

Remember that you are unique… just like everybody else!

Working is a delight, leave enough work for your colleagues.

Be yourself, there are enough other people.

There is a fine line between fishing and jsut standing by a lake like an idiot!

Mr Hague, If your short of seats why not visit the Courts summer sale?

Texting is a good way to get to know your thumb…

(To my Skydiving partner in USA – I’ve messed with your parachute!

Can you hear that? Its your brain frying!

I can’t hide it from you any longer, I’m sorry, but, there is no Santa…

After John Presoctt’s egg throwing incedent, the press thinks he should get a bodyguard. It was only a little egg, what do they think he need soldiers?

Two cows in a field, one cow says “Have you heard about mad cow disease?” The other thinks and replies “Yep but it doesnt affect us rabbits”!

What city has the largest rodent population? Hamsterdam.

The Japanese have banned all animal movements after discovering droppings in the bedding of Tokyo. They belive it could be a case of Futon Mouse.

You can alway tell when a man is going to say something intelligent. He starts a sentance with “A women once told me…”

Did you hear about the new mag for married men by Playboy? It has the same pictures month after month after month.

2 Men are fishing. A funneral march goes by. The first man places his hat on his cheast. 2nd man – “Thats nice” 1st man – “It’s the least I could do, we were married 25 years”!

Why did the farmer win a noble prize?
Because he was standing out in his field.

What do you call James Bond in the bath?
Bubble 07.

Why did the jelly baby go to school? Because it wanted to be a Smartie!

Don’t Anthropomorphize computers – They hate it.

Do you take me to be your lawful text m8, 2 have and 2 hold dirty jokes and saurcy jokes, in text messaging and in poosignal till low battery do us part?

Send to: Bill Gates: Reply to sender with Bank Account PIN Code.

Whats a Zebra?
26 sizes bigger then A Bra!

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